Reflections of a Therapist: When our minds trip us up.
The other night, as I was falling asleep, my mind shifted to an embarrassing memory. Suddenly, I was sitting in 2011, reliving my embarrassment during a graduate school phone interview. I wasn’t just remembering my embarrassment, I was actually feeling embarrassed. I felt my cheeks flush, my heart racing, and I cringed.
Our minds are kind of amazing. Think about it - we can read and understand the thoughts of people who have been dead for centuries. We can build monuments, develop theories about the universe, and connect with each other on profound levels. Our minds also allow us to reflect on the past and plan for the future. I think most of us would agree that this is pretty cool! It also means that our minds can trip us up.
I didn’t need or want to go back to that embarrassing moment in 2011, but my mind took me there. There was a time in my life where I probably would have kept thinking about that long since past moment, losing sleep and feeling miserable. Instead, I noticed where my mind had taken me, smiled, and thought, Whoa there. I’ve already been through this and I don’t need to be here again. And I shifted my focus. I noticed the weight of my warm blankets, listened to the sound coming from my noise machine, and fell asleep.
Learning how to unhook yourself from your thoughts and focus on the present moment are two core elements of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)*. I began to learn how to do this in graduate school. I’m not perfect at it (no one is!), but now that I am able to acknowledge and let go of the unhelpful thoughts, worries, and memories my mind brings to me, I find I am much more able to focus on the things that matter to me the most… including getting some much needed sleep.
Want to learn more about ACT?
There are a ton of great resources on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Two of my personal favorites are The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris and Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene.**
*Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
**I don’t make a profit if you use these links. I just really like these books. Check out your library or bookstore and see what you think!
Dr. Lauren Koch, Licensed Psychologist in Spokane, WA
Looking for an ACT therapist in Spokane?
Much of the work I do is informed by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation.
Looking for a specific therapy specialty? I specialize in trauma and PTSD, combat PTSD, and high achievers with anxiety.